Yesterday

Yesterday was hard.

Yesterday I struggled with many things.

For the first time, since surgery I felt….

Mad
Hurt
Doubt
Upset
Fearful
Scared
Jealous
Worried
Stressed
Confused

I didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know if I could be strong. I didn’t even know if I could pray.

I know that everyone has hard days, but yesterday was one of the hardest since being home from post-op.

The buildup for this day all started a little over a week ago. Cannon’s scalp was getting really dried out, with little red bumps and itchy. I called the orthotist who is our “helmet lady” and asked for advice. She recommended that I needed to stop washing his hair daily and needed to get some moisturizing shampoo. I told her at the time I just did not think it would be possible for me to go to every other day washes as by the end of one day his sweet baby head is smelly and gross from being in his helmet all night and day with no break. So she said I could try the moisturizing shampoo daily for the time being but if sores began to break out on his head then we would have no other choice. I got moisturizing shampoo. I continued washing his head daily with the new shampoo but then Tuesday night I noticed two sores on the back of Cannon’s neck. The sores were firey red, swollen and looked painful, almost like burns about the size and width of my thumb. The orthotist had talked about these sores and had said if he got them then he would not be able to wear his helmet until the sores completely healed due to the worry of infection and rubbing the skin raw. This situation would not be good as he MUST wear the helmet 23 hours a day in order for all that we have gone through to be successful. So late at night, what was I to do? I followed her previous advice, put Neosporin on both spots, took pictures to send to her and then put Cannon to bed without his helmet?!?!

I stressed.


I  did not sleep well as I knew that we might potentially have to return to KC for helmet adjustments the next day. On top of this, Chase’s back was in no condition to drive or ride the trip up and back. Add to that, our beloved Zoe dog was sick.

The moment Cannon’s orthotist’s office opened, I called. I had to leave a message and then waited. I waited for what seemed like forever as I was sure that I would need to endure the six hour round trip in a day. However, I spoke with the orthotist and she determined that indeed Cannon’s sores were bad, but she hoped to get us by until our scheduled appointment this coming Wednesday. Also, at this point I had no choice, I had to cut back on washing his head daily. She gave me detailed instructions on how to treat to sores and then told me the dreaded news that Cannon had to be out of the helmet for a total of two days and two nights. Any time he laid down I had to ensure that he was flat on his back and no turning of his head to one side or the other occurred. We then would have to restart helmet therapy on the third day but would have to go to a weaning in schedule and see how the sores reacted. Then at the very end of the conversation she noted that in the pictures it looked as if Cannon’s neck was swollen. She asked how his lymph nodes were doing and I told her that they were same, still inflamed. She said that she thought it was time to return to our pediatrician to have our pediatrician recheck the lymph nodes as the combination of his neck being swollen, the inflamed lymph nodes and the red sores were worrisome.

I wanted to scream.

Instead, I loaded Zoe and Chandler in the car to go to the vet’s office as our little Zoe dog was not getting better. On the way to the vet’s office I called Cannon’s pediatrician, scheduled an appointment for the next morning and set off to continue our day, but suddenly the dreadful pit in my stomach returned.

I prayed.

Zoe received a shot of antibiotics, instructions to not feed her for a full 24 hours and return the next day.

We had an uneventful afternoon and evening. Cannon’s sores looked to be getting better. But then, there was yesterday, Thursday.

Our morning started out calm and peaceful. I took Cannon in and was prepared to hear the same thing as last time about his lymph nodes. They just needed time. Time to heal, time to go down, time. The doctor entered and I pulled Cannon out of his carrier. As I did, I noticed on the right tip of his back incision had a sore full of fluid and grossness. This was the first I had seen it. This was the first I noticed it. What? The doctor noticed it immediately. I went from calm to stress. I looked closer as she continued talking and heard the word “infection”. NO! This couldn’t be. We were almost five weeks post-op. His incisions had looked amazing. I had been meticulous in keeping his incisions clean and cared for. She drained and swabbed the sore and then prescribed an antibacterial cream to apply to the spot. She discussed the possibilities of the infection and then went on to reiterate that she thought his lymph nodes probably just needed time. I was seriously stricken with panic about the new discovery. I asked about the dry skin. She made her recommendations and then we were on our way.

I felt in a rush again the inability to be strong with this new revelation.

We left. I returned home to get Zoe to take her back to the vet and all the while Chase’s back was so bad that it was all he could manage to stagger from chair to the floor with ice on his back and a continuous round of Tylenol flowing through his system. While on the way to the vet I called the orthotist, the surgeon’s nurse, the surgery clinic, a cranio mom who also has endured a great deal and my mom. It was all I could do to keep my composure. The thought of all that was to come crashing down was imminent and I was not strong.

I was broken.

Zoe’s news was the same. Still a temp. Still no food. Another antibiotic shot. Antibiotic pills for home and the need to call back to the vet with updates as the possibility that she could get worse before getting better was a concern.

On the drive home. I cried. Hadn’t Cannon endured enough? Hadn’t I been through enough? Hadn’t I proven that trusted? And then the onslaught of emotions hit me. I was mad. So mad, this shouldn’t be. I was hurt. I had trusted in God to get us through this. I was upset. I should have noticed this before now, before today. I was confused. I took this new situation on that it was something I had done that had caused this, but what because I had been so careful. I had done my best. I was fearful. What if this was the start of something worse? I was at a loss. I didn’t know what to do. And yet the day had barely started.

With at least ten phone calls later, several from all of the previously listed people and instructions or advice that was so very different it made everything so confusing and so inconclusive. My ability to be strong was quickly diminishing.
I was exhausted. All day the confusing thoughts were rampaging through my mind, blaming myself, being angry, being mad, so mad. I told my mom about a sermon I had heard while pregnant and how I was so fearful that all of this was my doing. I had prayed while pregnant for God to make me strong and the sermon given by a guest speaker I heard was about that if you pray for patience then God would put people in your life to test your patience and if you prayed for strength then God would give you situations to test your strength.

I was scared.

Maybe there was more that we would have to endure. Maybe because I prayed for strength God had placed this situation into our lives to test our strength. I was heartbroken.
I spent the afternoon trying to just breathe. At one point when we were told that Cannon would have to be out of the helmet for two days I was actually looking forward to finally getting to spend time without the helmet as we really have to come to see it as a part of Cannon. But then there was this. This possibility of an infection took away from our excitement. The afternoon was full of calls back and forth to the pediatrician’s office, surgeon’s office and the orthotist. All to finalize advice, instructions, prescriptions and follow-up appointments.
As I drove to Target to pick up the prescriptions, new shampoo and lotion I begged and pleaded with God. Maybe there was still the possibility that Cannon’s incision site was not infected, maybe I could be hopeful again. But, as I again thought about being hopeful I wanted to cry as throughout this all I would always feel hopeful only to have reality hurt. Then an all consuming exhaustion hit me hard. As I discussed everything with the pharmacist she again shared her opinion about how to cleanse the incisions as through all of this even though I was not to wash Cannon’s head I needed to still daily wash the incisions, even though the poor incisions were perhaps the driest part of his scalp. It was here though, that as I walked to the baby department and saw the beautiful pictures on the aisle walls with precious babies, babies with their mommy and they were perfect. They didn’t have helmets. They didn’t have incisions. They didn’t have scars. It was here that the jealousy started. I was scared of this emotion as I know how fast and dangerous this emotion can be. I didn’t want to be jealous but I couldn’t help my heart. Again, it suddenly seemed as though I was encompassed by babies, all of them with perfect head shapes. Not needing surgery to fix their heads, not needing to wear a helmet to be made whole, not needing to worry about incisions or infections. It was here that my doubt again started. I started doubting my ability to fix this.
I was hurt.

I was scared.

I was mad.

I was worried.

I was confused.

I was jealous.

As I was then waiting in line to get dinner I saw her. A lady who I did not know but her shirt touched my heart and made me realize everyone has hurts. Her shirt said “A Blood Donor Saved My Life.” I still left feeling pain in my heart and I returned home and told Chase that today was a hard day.

I cried.

I shared with him all the thoughts that wouldn’t stop. But finally, he stopped me and reminded me that I had and have done my best and that is truly all I can, could and will ever be able to do.
So yes, I know everyone has hard days but I do ask for your thoughts and prayers for my sweet Cannon. The thought that an incision that was needed is now infected and so close to his brain and will not get to have “air” as he is now back in his helmet scares me but again I have to believe that surely the doctors know what is best. I pray for strength to be strong enough for my family and Cannon. I pray that my heart can calm and that the peace that I once felt so strongly can return. I pray that I have faith to know that God is in control and He loves our Cannon so much and He will protect him.

Cricuts of Fun!

So I LOVE to decorate Cannon’s helmet. We initially just had stickers but then I wanted more. With the first round of decorating I learned a lot!

Tips·
-Using a hair dryer can help remove bubbles behind the stickers and help them stick better.
-Using a hair dryer to remove the stickers also helps the stickers to not leave a residue or if so makes the residue easy to take off.
-You must use clear vinyl stickers in order for them to hold up with the daily washings and alcohol rub downs.
-The more the better!!! Well…I guess this is personal preference!
-Placement is key. There are certain spots that tend to get rubbed off quickly. Especially since Cannon likes to turn his head back and forth, back and forth as if trying to itch his little head so the ones on the back and the ones on the back sides are susceptible to getting rubbed off.
-Fading and wear happens so having lots of stickers on hand to use makes it all the more exciting!

As I mentioned in a previous post, my determined mother found stickers and stickers and more stickers. They are absolutely adorable! She found hers at Hobby Lobby in the scrap booking section and if you time it just right, 50% off or with a 40% off coupon they are a steal! Chandler, Cannon and I also found some from Target for 99 cents!!! And they are too cute! Of course this is a shout out to Cannon’s dear big brother, Chandler, as he picked out the current adorable stickers and chose the theme for this round of decorating! I know it is the little things in life, but this is so fun!

I wanted words and sayings because seriously how cute would that be. So thanks to Jenny for letting us borrow and play with her Cricut, yesterday, my mom and I decided to be adventurous!!! We decided it was time to add words and sayings. So after lots (not really) of thought we set out to turn Cannon’s helmet into an expression of…well…lets say...of art! HAHA! Anyway as you will see below the words truly add a magical touch! In one of my previous posts there is a picture of Cannon and Chandler without the words and as you are about to see the words add so much! Thanks again Jenny!




Before stickers and decorations.





Round One of decorating!  Rockets of fun!





Round Two!  Pirate Theme!  ARRR MATEY! ;  )



Reaction

Yesterday, was our four week mark!!! Some days it feels every bit of that, and on other days it feels like forever ago that we were where we were. However, we truly are so blessed to be on this side of things. But as the title of this post states I have a question.



Reaction?



What is your reaction to this?

Well, let me tell you that through this all, people’s reactions to Cannon’s helmet have perhaps been the most interesting.

I am amazed at people.

I am shocked at people’s reactions.

I am hurt, at times, by their reactions.

I do not say any of this to offend anyone. I was questioned by someone very dear what would I do if the roles were reversed and we were out and about and Chandler loudly asked about that baby’s helmet what would I do? I was quiet for a moment, and then being in the position that I now am in it was hard to think of an instant response. But it is amazing when we are out with Cannon at the double takes. The stares. The inquisitive eyes. The not so quiet whispers that, yes, I can hear. The absolute avoidance of eye contact even when it is needed. I am SO glad that Cannon is the age he is because he doesn’t notice but being the age I am, I do.

I still look at my baby and I see my beautiful Cannon. I see all that he has had to endure.  I see how super and brave he is. And, yes although this is not permanent I absolutely cannot fathom if it was. I cannot imagine parents and what they must endure if their child’s situation is long term or even permanent, when they go out and about with their beautiful babes and they get the stares, looks and hear the not so quiet whispers and they don’t get to hear how beautiful their baby is. Although at times I want to share our story with those onlookers it is so hard because unless you have a moment to stop and actually listen it is not a quick response. I am so surprised at the reactions at times it hurts. Then I get over it, I get brave and we go out again and then again someone says something and hurts.

But last night we went out and both Chase and I were so touched. There was a young teenage girl who was working as a cashier and she purposely went out of her way to tell us “What a handsome baby you have!” We said “Thank you!” I looked at her name tag because I wanted to put her in my memory bank when the stares are unavoidable or hurt so that I can recall this sweet moment. Chase and I both walked out and Chase said “Wow, that was so nice!” “I know.” I said, as it has been a long time, well, four weeks to be exact since someone has said that. Now I do need to take that back because there have been others who have stated what cute boys we have, but nothing so purposeful or powerful and just what I needed to hear in that moment. I wanted to share some reactions with you and although they may amaze you they are all real.

When we were up at Kaleidoscope with Chandler the way the line weaves and twists and turns everyone basically can see everyone while in line. I had Cannon out of the stroller and was feeding him and literally I think all eyes were on Cannon. Chase initially was trying to stare right back at the people who were all out staring but as we would notice one, twenty more would be gaping at our little bundle. Then there were the whispers and although I easily ignored the stares and whispers that I could so evidently hear it was so silly to me. Really? In this day and age where there are so many situations that people go through and endure, this is so hard for people to get their minds around. I understand children. They are curious and they are so open but adults sometimes surprise me. So as we entered Kaleidoscope and were having a fun time a little girl asked her mommy why my baby had a helmet. Just as I was about to answer for her mommy she said “Because his mommy is scared that he might fall out of the stroller so she makes him wear a helmet.” WHAT? I looked at the mom thinking she must be saying that to make it easy to understand but the mom quickly grabbed her little girl made not so nice eye contact with me and rushed away. I would have loved to track her down but not my battle, let her think that…I guess?

Then we were at Target and a little girl saw the handle of Cannon’s car seat from inside the cart and started saying “Baby, baby, baby.” Her grandmother agreed with her, and asked if she wanted to see the baby. My heart sank, as most people don’t look into the cart so most cannot even see our Cannon to react. But of course the little girl did. I tried to prepare myself emotionally for what was to come but the grandmothers quick “Oh!?!” and immediate turn away made me sad. She could have said anything. But “Oh?” Then the little girl was so sweet to say “Hat, hat, hat.” And I waited for the grandmother’s reaction, but again I received utter avoidance as she tried to push the little girl forward and out of earshot.

Also, while at Target as I was pushing the stroller this time and a family with teenage girls were passing several of the family members let out an “OW!” as the teenage girl who was pushing their cart was so preoccupied in checking out Cannon that she literally ran over her sister, mother and father. As I turned back around, all eyes were then on us and she just grinned embarrassingly and tried to explain that she was looking at “That baby is wearing a helmet! HAHA!”. Okay?
The stories go on and on and really there is no way to explain reactions. But when a cashier utterly avoids eye contact because they are uncomfortable or another shouts “Oh my gosh! Your baby has a helmet! Why does he have a helmet?” I seriously wonder what has happened? Everyone deserves a smile and to be acknowledged. My baby is still beautiful. It actually breaks my heart that people cannot see him past the adorably decorated helmet that he now wears. Do they wonder? Do they wonder what has happened in his life that he now wears a helmet? Do they think to ask me?

I stop noticing the stares and then we go out to dinner with a friend who I told about the stares. I had stopped noticing until after dinner and once out of the restaurant she reminds me that “Wow, people really do stare!” Oh, I didn’t think it was that bad. And then I pay attention the next time. And the next time there are points and whispers and “Did you see that baby?” But thanks to Amy, a cashier, to remind us that there are people who can see past his helmet and can see how “handsome” he really is. I was actually changing him the other day and Chase had music playing and a song came on. A song I used to sing to Chandler when he was a baby. I started singing it to Cannon with tears in my eyes because he is beautiful. He has endured so much and his helmet is just like a cast or a sling that someone wears for a broken bone and yet I do not see people reacting the way they do to the boy with a broken arm as they do my sweet Cannon. So for the song that was playing and brought tears to my eyes, my song to Cannon….

You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see

You're everything I hope for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful to me
You are so beautiful to me!

Two Week Follow Up and Funnies

Last Wednesday, we headed back up to KC for our two/three week follow up. We met with our surgeon and orthotics. We were so excited to hear how great Cannon was doing. All were so impressed by the look of his head. It is unbelievable, I too agree. His cranial index has dramatically seemed to increase which is so great and encourages me each time we hear how much so that I can rest assured that we made the right choice. However, while there, the surgeon noted Cannon’s lymph nodes were very inflamed. At Cannon’s four month check up about two weeks ago I had mentioned them to our pediatrician and she too noted them but just thought that because of surgery they were a little swollen. Well, Cannon on the fourth of July came down with a virus that caused him to run a fever and then have a yucky cough. I tried to reassure myself that this was just from all that he has endured but I can’t seem to shake the underlying worry and stress that has come about because of Cannon having so many lymph nodes be so so swollen. We returned home and to the doctor’s office the next day to be told that we just need to allow his body to heal and to keep an eye on them. Our doctor told us what to look out for, but now it seems as though I see one of them and I think that I see what she told us to look out for. Or I give him a bath and I find another new swollen lymph node. And the stress returns. For some reason it feels like whenever my boys get sick or I need reassurance from the doctor’s office it is during evening unavailable hours or on the weekend where I then am left to sit and worry and wonder and Google. AH! I truly am trying to remain calm but I also am realistic to know that I need Cannon’s lymph nodes to return to normal so that I too may return to my new sense of calm and peace.

Children...and all that they do to a mother’s heart!

I truly think that parenting is the hardest job ever. It is so full of responsibility and the unknown how is one to know what to do?

In the meantime though our little big Chandler has been full of funnies this week I wanted to share some.

Conversation headed home from Cannon’s appointment
Chandler: Momma, I want to be in _______(insert city where we live). I want to be in _______. I want to be in _______.
Momma: I know Chandler. We are almost there.
Chandler: SILENCE……………………..Momma, what does almost mean?
Momma: It means we are pretty close to _______.
Chandler: Oh, okay! Well, I want to be in _______.
***Then as we were getting closer to our house Chandler’s tears started falling.

Momma: Chandler what is wrong?
Chandler: I want to be in _______.
Momma: Honey, we are in _______. _______ is where we live.
Chandler: NOOOOO! I don’t want to go home I want to go to _______!!!

Fast forward a week…
Momma: Chandler you really need to pick up all of this mess.
Chandler: Okay momma.
Momma: Chandler hurry please we need to take a bath.
Chandler: Well, momma I am ALMOST done almost!
Momma: HAH!

Now for a few pictures!

 

Trying oatmeal for the first the time. Obviously, not so fond of it.



That's better!

Mom had been up for an hour and half. This was the second attempt to wake up the boys with only ten minutes prior to us needing to leave!





Fun times at Kaleidoscope!

 





Three weeks post-op! How amazing!!!



My sweet Chandler ready to go to the library. Oh, by the way, the temperature was only 107 outside. But some things are just not worth the fight.  Especially when someone looks this cute and makes Cannon laugh as hard as he did seeing his brother in his ADORABLE stocking cap.

 

 





Tummy time with Chandler! Look at those perfectly round heads!!!



Good Morning Momma!

Yes, that is Noah in a space ship with his animals! What a smart way to travel during a flood! HAHA!

What a Year!

So it was a year ago this week that Chase and I found out that we were expecting our precious baby number two. I initially experienced a very wide range of emotions that day and the following weeks that we found out. Chase even then, reminded me that God would never give us more than we could handle. It wasn’t that I was worried about not being able to handle it but I truly felt as though this timing was not according to my plans. I had wanted to have a May baby so I could finish out the school year and then spend the entire summer with my new baby. Well, little did we know what the next months would hold. If someone would have told me about everything that we would face in a year’s time I would have become consumed with fear and doubt that we would have been able to handle it without breaking.

But we survived.

I am a stressor. I am a worrier. I am one who feels as though I need to be in control. I, however, have learned time and time again that I am not. Try as I may, I do not get to determine life’s trials and tribulations but I can enjoy the miracles and celebrations that we are blessed with daily. Our family has been supported, uplifted, prayed for and encouraged by so very many people, many of those who heard our story and their hearts broke for us, some who were sent by God to help us survive this, some of whom we have never met or have yet to meet our precious Cannon. If a year ago from now I can look back on all of this I hope that someone will have been touched by our story. Someone will have learned about a word, craniosynostosis, that some days I often wish I still did not know. Thank you all so very much for praying, for trusting, for thinking of us and believing for us especially when we could not!

Cannon has been amazing! He wears his helmet for 23 hours a day and it is as if doesn’t even faze him! He really has done so well post-op. He initially was very jumpy at loud noises but he has gotten so much better at being relaxed and unfazed by our noisy little environment with Chandler around. The amount of ounces that he takes during one feed has decreased since prior to surgery but that is okay as he seems satisfied and still enjoys eating! He also does not like to be left out and prefers to be able to at least see someone else constantly but I am pretty sure that is a normal developmental milestone. He started sleeping through the nights again once we were home! YAY for him! Oh well…and me too!!! The Z-mat was such a life saver as initially laying flat on his back without the Z-mat was hard for him, but if he is on the Z-mat laying flat he is good! It became a bed, diaper changing station and a place to just lay and chill for Cannon. He now though can lay flat in his crib, on his changing pad or wherever. Although it has taken Cannon’s little body a bit to adjust his temperature due to the helmet he personally has been unfazed. I am so proud of my little boy my heart swells with every smile and laugh he shares with us. How precious life is!
I have learned how to just breathe and be at peace with situations since the stress of craniosynostosis. I feel as though I know can process crisis versus everyday life. In the past, things that would normally have sent my into a frenzy of stress and worry I now can process through and know that I will survive. My thoughts are now not consumed by craniosynostosis. I am sometimes shocked at the fact that my mind does not spend the 24/7 that it once did focusing on, stressing about, crying, researching, fearing, and praying about craniosynostosis. I am still dedicated to sharing our story and sharing about our Cannon and how crucial early diagnoses is so that others can be given the choices that we were so blessed to have.

Well…I have made everyone wait so long and I apologize for the delay in showing pictures. I wanted to get some really great before and after shots so that you could truly see the difference in Cannon’s head shaping because it really is drastic! We have been so blown away from the difference. At times it is hard, because we constantly see Cannon in his helmet but when it is off it is just amazing. Cannon recently came down with a virus that caused him to have a fever for a couple of days, during the times when his fever was high we had to take off his helmet so he could stay cool and attempt to break his fever. During those times, I was able to really just enjoy, focus and praise God for helping us receive the heartbreaking early diagnoses that we did so that our little boy could be allowed to grow the way he is suppose to. We at times, will still talk about how we cannot fathom if we had only had the option of the initial surgeon who had told us we had to at least wait until Cannon was a year to fourteen months old to operate or we could have the option to wait until he was four or seven. As you will see below Cannon’s head had become very visibly misshapen but now we have a very beautiful round head shaped little boy!

Our new prayer is that Cannon can stay healthy so his body can start to regrow his bone. We return to see our surgeon tomorrow, Wednesday and are so hopeful that everything is perfect!

Thank you again for your prayers and support!



Talking on the phone with GG!  This was early June, approximately three weeks prior to surgery.  You can see in this picture how large his forehead was as well as the way the back of his head is "cupped".

  

This is a bird's eye view of Cannon on the phone!  You can clearly see how elongated Cannon's head was.  This is what the doctor who diagnosed Cannon with craniosynostosis first noticed was the elongated shape of his head.  Also, if you look closely you can somewhat see the ridge on the very top of his head.

Here is Cannon playing on the floor with daddy one week prior to surgery.  Here you can see the dip in the on the top of the middle of his head.   You can also see how much his forehead was protruding outward and the back of his head was also pushing outward in a "football" shaped way.

Again, enjoying tummy time with the very entertaining...DADDY!  In this picture you can see the definitive ridge that goes from the back of his forehead to the back of his head.  You can also somewhat see the dips and bumps on either side of the ridge.  In person these were so very prevalent but with the flash Cannon's blond hair I know they are somewhat difficult to see.  Also, the shaping of his forehead is very obvious in this photo.



Daddy is playing airplane with Cannon!  Here is a top view one week prior to surgery.  In this picture you can very clearly see the large dip that was present in Cannon head as well as the ridge if you look closely.





This is the day prior to surgery.  You can see how tall his forehead was as well as almost make out the ridge on the top of his head.  Also his head is very tall and skinny making his cheeks look extra pinchable (aka chubby).  



These are the incisions one day post-op as well as the markings that show where bone was removed.  However, you can also see very clearly how rounded Cannon's head is!!!

These two pictures are one week post-op.  Look at those incisions!!! AMAZING!  You can also see though how absolutely incredible our Cannon's head looks.  It is round and not elongated.  It has no ridges and crevices.  It has no cupping or nodules! 

Helmet therapy here we come!  These two pictures are from our first day home (five days post-op).  WHAT A SWEET BOY!  Smiling away, ready to take on the world!

 Look at my precious round headed baby boy!  You can see drastically how his forehead is no longer so very tall and skinny.  You can drastically see how proportional his head and cheeks are and you can drastically see what a beautiful baby our Cannon is!  This is seven days post-op.

I could not wait to decorate!  We have color coordinating velcro straps to match his outfits for the sides and then...drum roll please...adorable stickers to decorate with.  This first session was trial basis but turned out so cute!  A week prior to surgery, I had went out with my mom because I was determined to get his helmet decorated as soon as we had it but I was unsuccessful.  But never fear!  My wonderfully determined mother came bearing stickers and stickers and stickers a couple days after being home!  Thank you mother!!! It only took a little while later and the helmet was covered! 

Silly mom!

Trying to eat my fist, that is how powerful I am in my "Super Hero Helmet".  I bet you want one too so you could do the same!

If you only knew how many tries this took!  WHEW!  However, even though it is evident that Cannon is not looking and that Chandler is so over saying as loud as possible "CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE", I am so grateful to be where we are now!  Thank you so much for all your support, encouragement and most of all prayers!  Our Cannon is a SUPER BABY!  

Dentist and Eye Doctor and Swim Lessons...OH MY!

So now that our dear Chandler is three we decided that it was time for him to have the time of his life this summer while home with mom and dad. So we booked him an appointment to the dentist and eye doctor and signed him up for swim lessons and gymnastics. We really didn’t know how Chandler would do with the dentist and eye doctor but as you are about to find out we were in for a big surprise.

Chandler is a child of routine and schedule. He has always and I mean ALWAYS been one who likes to know in advance what is going to occur and when, and if he does not like the idea of something then trust me you will know. Chandler, since birth has always had his way of doing things and very few can get him to change his mind. Now in saying all of that Chandler is the most loving and sincere little boy. He loves his daddy, mommy and brother very dear and will constantly share hugs and kisses and reaffirmations of how much he does love us. Chandler also LOVES to know why about EVERYTHING! We actually had to put a stop to the whys and remind Chandler that in order to be polite he needs to just say “Okay daddy or Okay mommy.” And if you ask Chandler what he is to say after being informed of something and he asks the dreaded “why?” he will then verbatim tell you the previous saying of “I am suppose to say “Okay daddy or Okay mommy.” HA! Such a rule follower!

So back in January, I called to get Chandler a dentist appointment scheduled with a highly recommended pediatric dentist. Through the craziness of our most recent life changing experience I had somewhat forgot about it but then suddenly summer was here and so was Chandler’s dentist appointment. About three days in advance I mentioned to Chandler that he would being going to the dentist so she could just look and count his teeth, as this is truly what I thought they would do on his very first visit. From the moment I mentioned the dentist Chandler was ready! He would open his mouth as wide as possible and want us to count his teeth. We would and then he would always say “No, I do not have twenty teeth I have five!” But he was ready to go to the dentist just to prove to us that we were in fact misinformed and he only had five teeth. So for the next three days we talked and talked about the dentist and by the time of his appointment he seriously jumped out of bed enthusiastic and ready to GO! Once at the dentist’s office Chandler was excited by the games, toys and TV show that he could have fun with. The office is absolutely adorable I must say! We did have to wait a bit but finally it was Chandler’s turn and my sweet boy marched back with such a take charge demeanor in his step. Chase and I both joined him in the back and boy were we in the for the time of our lives! Chandler got into the chair and with an excited bounce in his step he laid back and was ready. The hygienist was impressed at how serious Chandler took his job of opening his mouth when needed and shutting it when appropriated. He was such a cute little guy in the big chair Chase and I both wanted pictures, and I would love to share some but they do not allow pictures to be taken. : ( Anyway, upon the hygienist finishing counting, cleaning and polishing his teeth the dentist came to visit our sweet Chandler. She was so excited that he had no “sugar bugs” and Chandler was as well!!! She then asked if she could possibly take out the “tartar monsters” that were hiding in the crevices of his teeth and anything to do with monsters Chandler wants no part of. So with daddy’s good eyesight of finding the multi-colored tartar monsters she was able to scrape all those out as they screamed AHHH! while leaving. Chandler, Chase and I were all so impressed with the visit that Chandler has since asked to go back just to make sure he has no more tartar monsters getting stuck in his teeth! HAHA! He also has become so dedicated to flossing his teeth and reminds us constantly how bad sugar bugs are and that if you get sugar bugs they will hurt your teeth. So during his twice daily brushing time he sings this song “No more sugar bugs, no more sugar bugs, get out of there, get out of there. We don’t like you at all, get out of there, get of there!” It is too precious, because even when not brushing his teeth Chandler will just randomly break out into this song! Then while in KC for Cannon’s surgery Chase offered Chandler some Fruit Loops to which Chandler turned down because “They have sugar bugs in them and I don’t want them to hurt my teeth daddy!” So wise!

Chandler was scheduled to go to the eye doctor back with me at a scheduled visit in February but when I was placed on bed rest I had to cancel. So we rescheduled. His appointment just happened to fall on the one week anniversary of Cannon’s surgery! (Just thought I would throw that in there because that anniversary is one worth celebrating!) Again, I had mentioned to Chandler a few days prior to that he would be having an eye doctor appointment so that we could make sure his eyes were healthy. He was…excited! He could not wait and daily would ask if his appointment was happening today. So finally, when it was the day of his appointment he was so excited he could barely talk about anything else. Upon arriving, he so desperately wanted to play with the multiple toys in the waiting room but his mom being the germaphobe that I am, he had to come sit in the waiting chairs. When they called Chandler back he skipped the whole way back to the exam room (too cute)! He felt as though it was such a privilege to sit up in the big chair. Looking at him in that chair made my heart skipped a beat realizing that my little boy has grown up so much, too much sometimes I feel. But enough of that sappiness! So the examiner handed him a “pirate patch” to cover one eye at a time to see how well he could see. I instantly begin to giggle because Chandler kept trying to peek with both eyes and kept on being reminded to just use one. Then as quick as he could, he identified all the pictures and then did the same with an up close book. The examiner had him put on some overly large black framed sunglasses to then look at up-close pictures and Chandler was to point out which creature was coming out at him. Well my Chandler wanted to discuss why there were all those creatures on the page and she kept repeating “Is that the one popping out?” “No but why is that monkey on this page?” “Is that the one jumping out at you?” “No but what is that bear doing?” “Is that the one coming out at you?” “No but look at that silly _________!” The conversation continued like this for a bit and in the meantime it was all I could do to not laugh out loud. Finally, receiving the response she needed they finished that part of the visit. I spoke with her about what she thought about his eyes, she filled me in, but then left to get the doctor for his exam. She then shut the door behind her and Chandler’s eyes immediately got very large and he asked “Why are we in trouble?” It took me a minute, but then I realized that because she had shut the door with us inside he thought we were in trouble. Again, stifling my laughter I explained that we were not in trouble. In came the so kind doctor. Immediately, he started talking about our Cannon as he had heard about our situation. I felt at such ease as this was our first outing with Cannon’s helmet and he immediately made me feel comforted. Chandler was ready though! So after some adjustments on the big refractor the doctor had Chandler look through it. It again almost brought out loud laughing seeing my little boy sitting there with this huge object in front of him trying to look through the very small holes. Chandler did such a good job of looking through it and listing all the objects he could see. Chandler kept trying to grab it and pull it or push it to where he wanted to look but the doctor kept reminding him to just keep his hands on the arm rests. Then the cutest part of it all was when the doctor went behind Chandler and was asked him if he could count the candles on the cake. Chandler instantly heard the doctor behind him and turned the refractor with him to try to locate the doctor and I couldn’t help but laugh. Then redirected, the doctor asked Chandler again the same question and this time without hesitation “One, two, three….(long pause)” “Very good Chandler.” “Four, five, six.” “It’s okay. That’s good!” I again was laughing as there were only three candles on the cake, but my loving Chandler wanted the doctor to see I guess that he could count. Once that part was finished the last part was to look into Chandler’s eyes and make sure his eyes were healthy. To do this Chandler needed to look just past the doctor’s ear and keep looking there, however, Chandler was struggling to keep his eyes fixed on the doctor’s ear. So the doctor’s assistant stood and put her hand where Chandler needed to look. As she did so she reminded Chandler multiple times that he needed to look at her hand. Well, I guess Chandler had heard her say it enough because he informed her “You can stop saying that now!” So now, I know it is was not polite but I could not help my laughing so after my burst of laughing, because that was just SO my Chandler I reminded him that talking like that was not polite and he informed me “But I don’t like her saying that.” Oh the mouth of babes! Finally the visit was over and Chandler actually did truly amazing for his first visit and did answer the doctor’s questions as well as cooperated to the full extent that a three-year-old can, so he got to visit the treasure chest! BIG EXCITEMENT!!! However, it hit me on the way home. Wow! I hope they don’t think I am one of those moms who laugh at everything their child does or thinks that everything is oh so cute but man after the week, month, half a year that I had, finally the calm was enough to consume me and I personally do think that my Chandler is one of the cutest!

Swim lesson’s and gymnastics. Well…I need to make this short as the other two are so long, but man the stories I could share! Well Chandler loves to talk about the gym as daddy works out there often and we live VERY close. Chase signed him up for four sessions of a once a week gymnastics class and then a two week emergent swimming lesson course. Both of which Chandler loved. And this is why...
   1.He is very energetic so this was right up his alley.
   2.He got to do new things which he LOVES!

3.He got to go to the YMCA. Which he thinks is a very cool place to be! As daddy is there so often!
4.He got to do things that he was not even suppose to, but being the charming Chandler he is got away with it. (GREAT, I know!)
5.He actually did become braver with swimming even though he still does not want to get his eyes wet?!?!? Odd…I know. Especially when you consider that last year he was jumping off the edge of the pool and swimming like a professional fish. This year he did not even want to get his face in the water and informed EVERYONE that he could not go swimming until after his swimming lessons were over because they were going to teach him how to swim.
6.He daily then and daily now reminds us that it is time for swim lessons even though swim lessons have now been done for two weeks. But it was so adorable to daily watch him pack his towel and suit into a little backpack placing it by the door and informing us that it was time to go, be it five hours in advance or right after we had just gotten home from lessons.
7.He made new friends! AWWW! I know how cute right? Well…okay maybe I should be more specific and say that Chandler got to “interact” with new kiddos other than those friends from daycare or in our neighborhood. It was often comical watching him interact as he would inform the others ever so kindly to “STOP SPLASHING!” With then a splash right back at the culprit splashing in the first place. Or learning from others how to get water into your mouth and then spray it out like a fountain. Or that it is in no form what-so-ever okay, according to mom, to place your hands in someone else’s mouth even if they think it is funny. Oh the joys of being three! I know!

Things I learned…
1.It is going to be one hard day to stand back and let someone else teach my child if they do not have a similar style of behavior management.
2.How hard it is to watch your child try to stand up to someone not doing the right thing, or join in the naughtiness and not be able to do anything about it until later.
3. That my little boy is growing up so fast! How my heart yearns to keep him small and innocent, yet I am amazed at the big, smart, silly, adorable, precious boy he has become!


Now for the ADORABLE pictures of Chandler and a video of him singing one of his favorite songs….

Swimming lessons! As Chandler recently, told me "Momma, I'll be the teacher you be me. Okay? Now reach and pull, reach and pull, reach and pull! Good job momma, keep going!" 


I know...more of the same but I have to capture so many moments because he is growing up SO fast!

This one is a little hard to see. I was trying to get pictures from behind some very thick very dirty glass. Chandler's instructor is trying to get him to blow bubbles and get his face wet. It didn't really work. We'll keep trying though!

Thank goodness for the "awesome" playground at CMH. Although my mom and I loved this part of the playground it held Chandler's attention for all of two minutes but it was SO cool! It was a piano that played music while walking on it! I only got a few shots of him on this because he was so excited when I finally got to go to the playground!

This was one of Chandler's favorites. THE CROSSWALK! You push the button and then one has to wait for it to be green. Then according to Chandler you need "RUN, HURRY! It's green!" It was too cute the day I was there with him. Try as he may, he was trying to explain the rules of the crosswalk to some very little girls but they were just not doing it right and running when it was red. "They better be careful momma!" Also in the background was another favorite. The school bus! He was so ready for it to really take him to school. I was instructed to be the driver so he could be the rider.

Trying to get an action shot but there was just too much to do! No time for pictures mom!

This was a "Chandler if you do not stop and let mommy get a picture then we will just have to be done at the playground." I know so rough!

Poor buddy! The day before we were leaving KC, the ride home from KC and the following day Chandler came down with a fever and a BAD cough and sneeze. Initially we just thought it was allergies but when the fever didn't go away we found out it was a sinus infection. But prior to that Chandler kept on hearing "Cover your mouth." "Turn away from Cannon please." "Buddy you have to be careful because we really really do not want Cannon to get sick." (I think I mentioned earlier I am a germ-a-phobe!) Anyway, bless Chandler's little heart. He went into his room after one of the previous statements was made and found this to wear around! What a sweetie! (We found this treasure at the hospital and Chandler thought it was SO cool so he packed one in his bag. I guess it came in handy after all!)

Chandler, Cannon and Yaya!
Thanks to Yaya for the cool stickers (more to come on that).

"Chandler please smile for mommy!" Then this face. "Fine, then I guess you really don't want to go swmming... I only wanted one good picture(which in all reality means I want at least 10)...PLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSE one smile to at least look like your having fun."

Much better!

Two of the best looking boys! Chandler and daddy having fun and guess what else...SMILING!
Uncle Teetee trying to convince Chandler to go under water. "Look, you could hold your nose and go under." Very rationale thinking but he forgot one thing! "No, Teetee, then my eyes would get wet." ARG! Well we tried!

Too cute! Chandler and Uncle Teetee (Austin for short, in case you didn't know)! HAHA!

One of the sweetest pictures! Two of my three super handsome guys! Daddy and Chandler! Chandler is always so sweet with his question of "Will you be my best friend daddy?" "Yes, Chandler I will be your best friend." "Forever and always daddy?" "Forever and always Chandler!"



Below is one of Chandler's favorite songs to sing. He is such a sneak stealing daddy's phone (okay well maybe with some help) but what a sweet surprise!