December, December, December. It seemed like such a magical month!
I love the Christmas season for the decorations and the precious meaning behind the season. Especially having little babes you just look into their face and how heartbreaking yet powerful it was for our Father to send his Son to this hurtful place for me and my babes. It is so powerful that every Christmas season since Chandler arrived I treasure the emotion and feeling that Mary and Joesph and especially our Father must have experienced on that night so long ago.
Now especially with little ones who's eyes light up at every little decoration and with each magical day that gets closer to Christmas, suddenly you realize how magical the season really is. Chandler was all about "Christmas Magic" this year. I don't quite know where he picked it up, but I think it was from the Elf on the Shelf that we did this year. So then anytime there was a surprise or something special that happened he would inform you that it was because of the Christmas Magic. Why did baby Jesus come to the earth? Because of Christmas Magic. Why do we celebrate Jesus' birthday? Because of Christmas Magic. How did Cutie, the elf on the shelf, get from place to place? Because of Christmas Magic. It truly was a magical holiday in the eyes of Chandler. I loved it! It seemed as though the whole month was full of excitement and flew by in a whirlwind.
Chandler got to be Joesph in the Christmas play at church and I don't think that I had laughed that hard in a long while. He was absolutely adorable and precious, such a treasured memory. We celebrated the birthdays of two very special men in our family, who without them we would not be the family we are today. We did not go unscathed completely though, as the stomach bug hit our house not once but twice. Once during the weekend of the Christmas play at church, but we were not going to miss that for the world so poor babes just had to make due.
We also had an interesting situation with Cannon's helmet. It was in late November that I noticed a bump forming on the back of Cannon's head. It was bony not squishy like a goose egg although initially I thought perhaps it was just that, and it would get better. However, instead of getting better it gradually was getting larger and more prevalent. Also his coronal suture on the left side started to ridge dramatically and also became more obvious. We would especially note these issues at bath time when his hair was wetted down and as this is the only time that he is without his helmet it was obvious something was not quite right. I started to search for possible explanations. The bump in the back of his head was right at the point in the helmet where there seemed to be a flaw. There was a divet in the helmet and it seemed as though his body was filling in that divet with bone. Of course, I being the mother that I am, stressed and worried until I could no more. We tried to get in immediately to the orthotist here in town however, around this time the stomach bug number two hit our household. Finally, we were able to get in and thought the issue was resolved but it didn't take long to realize things were no better. So up to KC my mom, Cannon and I went to hopefully get some explanations. I know to many people and even to our surgeon the thought is that many people do not have perfectly shaped heads. So I really should not worry. However, in our case, after all we have been through I felt and still feel as though Cannon deserves to have the most perfectly shaped head. We have been to hell and back to ensure that our baby has a perfectly shaped head. While in KC the divet was fixed/filled with foam and over the next few days the bump shrunk completely but the ridging is perhaps just going to take time, if it ever does go away. Otherwise Cannon will have a ridge on his coronal that will just be there. As hard as this is, we learned while there that Cannon's metopic suture had closed which good or bad is a fused suture, and that he had regrown 85 percent of his bone that had been removed. I tried to remain calm and reassured that God is in control. Someone shared with me about the prayers that they still say for Cannon and the vision that had been shared with them and I had to remember that God is in control. He has been there every step of this journey and who was I to suddenly doubt his healing abilities. DEEP BREATH!
This month right prior to the release of our winter break a tragedy struck making my job all the more harder to bear. As I clung to my babies that night, as I am sure most Americans did I realized the one place that you think would be safe is unrealistically not always. I could not imagine the grief of those families nor the amount of worry that now was placed in the mind sets of parents everywhere. I still am saddened and heartbroken by the unfathomable amount of evil that could ever intertwine in what is supposed to be safe. Also this month my heartache deepened at the news of the splitting of our schools to create all the schools to be K-5. I was hurt yet once more, and yet in this month there was a fortune cookie from a date night that said "Do not worry, God looks after you especially." Seriously a fortune cookie! It was once again a message reminding me that I am indeed not the sayer and doer of my future for it is all in His hands and I need to stop for a moment. Although all of this rattled my heart once again, the healing from it all is a process and although it can be long and hard I have to walk the road of pain sometimes to see the beautiful skies to come.
Bless Cannon's heart too as we had been battling for wellness and healing he had his fifth double ear infection that would not heal. It was decided that we needed to proceed with ear tubes to hopefully help his ears. Although this happened while on break in December, just to see a specialist we had to wait a month. So for the next update!
Then there was Christmas!!! The long awaited reason for the season! My boys and I enjoyed our long break together and I had to really put all of the above mentioned stress behind so I could see just how joyous this long awaited moment was. Then what felt like a blink of an eye it was done. Cannon stood for the first time on Christmas day! Chandler was showered with so many presents that were fit for a king. And once again, since that moment that, "Magical Christmas" Day, Chandler has talked about when it comes again next year! As we were gathered singing "Happy Birthday to Jesus" I saw once again that moment. Oh how Mary must have felt. As the mother of a Savior who was born to die. Whose days were numbered from the moment he arrived. Who she felt moving while carrying him and whose birth was probably not how she pictured Him arriving. Merry Christmas dear Baby! Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Update from....November
November...seems like forever ago, but it was such a big month.
Ourlittle big boy turned four! Four!
At times we look back at pictures and it seems like a lifetime ago and in other moments it seems like just yesterday. I actually very vividly can remember the week long stay that we had prior to our little Chandler's arrival. We didn't know if we were having a boy or girl and what a surprise it made the wait! I had been put on hospital bed rest in order to hopefully prevent a preterm delivery. I remember I could be up for 10 minutes a day and seriously the nurses would knock on the bathroom door while in the shower reminding me of how much time I had left. I look back and think of how young we were. I remember Chandler's precious arrival and how much our forever was changed.
Chandler was definitely a first born. He enjoyed doing things his way. We often joked that while in the hospital it was proved that he loved keeping everyone on their toes as his heart rate would plummet causing everyone to rush in and rush us to the OR for immediate delivery and then suddenly all was good! And we would settle back in to 24 hours of monitoring. When everyone would come and visit us in the hospital and then prepare to leave we would jokingly say that no one should say bye as it would cause our little one to grip the umbilical cord or hold his/her breath causing everyone to stay thinking that our little one was coming! From the moment he was born was an identical image of his daddy. His baby pictures and Chase's baby pictures could easily be swapped out. He still looks so much like his daddy. He still acts so much like his daddy too (I had to throw that one in there! HEHE!)! Chandler is the sweetest, orneriest, most independent, biggest mess maker, cutest little guy in the world. He has brought our lives so much joy and treasure that we often look to him to lighten the dark moments and to carry the load of being a big brother. He has worn his role of big brother with pride and joy. He still daily will inform you that Cannon is his best friend!
From the moment of bringing Chandler home from the hospital our lives were impacted just like how any little one can do, but we as parents have learned so much. I as a momma and Chase as a daddy have been heroes, disciplinarians, medical administrators (which include cleaning up messes that no one would have ever dreamed of), imagination consultants, teachers, encouragers, photographers, and the list goes on. Chandler has grown up so fast. He actually the day after turning four started talking about how on his next birthday would be five! Chandler for awhile now has been very excited to turn five. It is a big age; I guess?!? He still talks constantly about his birthday coming up and when it does come how he will be turning five. I on the other hand would love for time to hold still. My baby is growing up and I know once school starts it will fly by and in the blink of an eye he will be all grown up.
Chandler loves books, lives for movie night and loves to be a stinker when asking him questions about things he knows. He is so adorable and sweet as he constantly confirms with his words that he loves you. He also definitely knows what he likes and what he doesn't. Although lately we have had many discussions about how he thinks he no longer likes something that for years now he has loved, such as tacos. Chandler is definitely a imagination pro. He loves to "pretend" lots of things and appreciates you pretending with him. He loves learning but lately tries to be a little stubborn when practicing certain things. He also loves to view life as a big contest where often he would prefer to be the winner, obviously. This includes how quickly you can eat dinner or racing to get inside from the car, etc. This little big boy has grown up so fast. This little boy stole my heart so many years ago and I honestly cannot believe that the time has gone so fast. I just look at him and my heart melts. How we pray that time will hold still but he prays that he can grow big and strong. How I hope that each moment we treasure will be remembered for who he is. We love you big buddy! Thanks for making each day so special! Thanks for being our guinea pig (Ha)! Thanks for loving mommy and daddy and Cannon so much! May God bless all your years!
Our
At times we look back at pictures and it seems like a lifetime ago and in other moments it seems like just yesterday. I actually very vividly can remember the week long stay that we had prior to our little Chandler's arrival. We didn't know if we were having a boy or girl and what a surprise it made the wait! I had been put on hospital bed rest in order to hopefully prevent a preterm delivery. I remember I could be up for 10 minutes a day and seriously the nurses would knock on the bathroom door while in the shower reminding me of how much time I had left. I look back and think of how young we were. I remember Chandler's precious arrival and how much our forever was changed.
Chandler was definitely a first born. He enjoyed doing things his way. We often joked that while in the hospital it was proved that he loved keeping everyone on their toes as his heart rate would plummet causing everyone to rush in and rush us to the OR for immediate delivery and then suddenly all was good! And we would settle back in to 24 hours of monitoring. When everyone would come and visit us in the hospital and then prepare to leave we would jokingly say that no one should say bye as it would cause our little one to grip the umbilical cord or hold his/her breath causing everyone to stay thinking that our little one was coming! From the moment he was born was an identical image of his daddy. His baby pictures and Chase's baby pictures could easily be swapped out. He still looks so much like his daddy. He still acts so much like his daddy too (I had to throw that one in there! HEHE!)! Chandler is the sweetest, orneriest, most independent, biggest mess maker, cutest little guy in the world. He has brought our lives so much joy and treasure that we often look to him to lighten the dark moments and to carry the load of being a big brother. He has worn his role of big brother with pride and joy. He still daily will inform you that Cannon is his best friend!
From the moment of bringing Chandler home from the hospital our lives were impacted just like how any little one can do, but we as parents have learned so much. I as a momma and Chase as a daddy have been heroes, disciplinarians, medical administrators (which include cleaning up messes that no one would have ever dreamed of), imagination consultants, teachers, encouragers, photographers, and the list goes on. Chandler has grown up so fast. He actually the day after turning four started talking about how on his next birthday would be five! Chandler for awhile now has been very excited to turn five. It is a big age; I guess?!? He still talks constantly about his birthday coming up and when it does come how he will be turning five. I on the other hand would love for time to hold still. My baby is growing up and I know once school starts it will fly by and in the blink of an eye he will be all grown up.
Chandler loves books, lives for movie night and loves to be a stinker when asking him questions about things he knows. He is so adorable and sweet as he constantly confirms with his words that he loves you. He also definitely knows what he likes and what he doesn't. Although lately we have had many discussions about how he thinks he no longer likes something that for years now he has loved, such as tacos. Chandler is definitely a imagination pro. He loves to "pretend" lots of things and appreciates you pretending with him. He loves learning but lately tries to be a little stubborn when practicing certain things. He also loves to view life as a big contest where often he would prefer to be the winner, obviously. This includes how quickly you can eat dinner or racing to get inside from the car, etc. This little big boy has grown up so fast. This little boy stole my heart so many years ago and I honestly cannot believe that the time has gone so fast. I just look at him and my heart melts. How we pray that time will hold still but he prays that he can grow big and strong. How I hope that each moment we treasure will be remembered for who he is. We love you big buddy! Thanks for making each day so special! Thanks for being our guinea pig (Ha)! Thanks for loving mommy and daddy and Cannon so much! May God bless all your years!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Bloggity, Blog, Blog
So I know it has been a while. What a while it has been! I have tried to post...I promise. I actually had an entire post ready to go just a few days after my last post (I know clear back in November!). It was one of the most adorable posts ever!!! Okay, well may not ever as so many are pretty precious, however it was all about cooperation. You see, after we had visited the pumpkin patch I wanted some pictures of me and my boys. So much of the time I am the picture taker and am not invovled in the photo session. Not that I am complaining, but I wanted the boys to at least know what I looked like when they looked back at the millions of pictures that have been taken of them. So we sat down for a little photo session and the results of the at least 20 pictures that were taken were HILAROUS! So I wanted to share them! At least 11 out of the 20, because each one was truly symbolic of how cooperative a then three year old and 9 month old can be! I had the entire post ready to go! Ready to share! All the pictures put in the EXACT right spot each with an added caption. I was so proud and excited because I just knew everyone else would enjoy them as well and then *POOF*! I went to publish my post and this little message comes on saying that my memory for my blog has reached the maximum...What? The message ever so (not) kindly informed me that a great way to solve this problem was to download this free Google program that would help organize all my pictures and allow me to still post pictures...or at least that is how I read the deeply computer tech embedded saavy message. So desperate to just get my post to publish I did this task and it took at least two-three hours. But then as the program was downloading I realized it was converting not just my blog pictures but every single item that was marked as a photo or had a photo inserted into documents, PowerPoints, emails, including every piece of clipart, background, everything that was hidden deep into the files that I did not know even existed on my computer into current pictures! AHA! I truly felt as though there could potentially be millions of which then individually had to be labeled and could be face recognizable as long I just would go through each one and select the face and then type the name and the process began.
Once I realized the amount of stress that had been caused just to get my newly post published I became overwhelmed. I located the pictures I needed in my new Google program and labeled, dated and face recognized to the whole bit, retyped my post and thought it would work. Much to my dismay it did not and thus began another saga into why I suddenly disappered from the blogasphere. I tried to get rid of pictures from previous posts, but I felt as though they all told the story. I tried to elimate the "fluff" photos. But that still did not allow enough space. Heartbroken alas, as this has become such a way to share and relive the struggles and heartache, the joys and triumphs I had a couple of options. One was to pay monthly for my blog or to create a new blog or to try another program. I tried the latter and it was not successful. After many attempts I decided I guess to take a break. I have had so much to say. I have typed this in my sleep. I have worded it just right. I have taken the time to even try and try again with the new program that apparently does not like me or my computer. But after much conversation I guess maybe this will be a blog without pictures? I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead.
But I do know that today's date is very symbolic. And I had to post today. One year ago today our lives changed forever. For the better. One year ago today I would not have dreamed of what a year would bring. One year ago today we were forever not just a family of three, but four and I would not have changed a moment. Well..okay so maybe I would have asked for an epidural sooner, but I would not have changed a single moment after that!
Happy Birthday Dear Baby! Happy Birthday to You! We love you! Thank you for all the joy you have brought to our lives! Thank you for putting up with our crazy! Thank you for loving us all so deeply! Thank you for being the best little brother! Thank you for being Chandler's best friend (that's what Chandler says! I promise!) Thank you little buddy! On this birthday and for so many more to come WE LOVE YOU!
Once I realized the amount of stress that had been caused just to get my newly post published I became overwhelmed. I located the pictures I needed in my new Google program and labeled, dated and face recognized to the whole bit, retyped my post and thought it would work. Much to my dismay it did not and thus began another saga into why I suddenly disappered from the blogasphere. I tried to get rid of pictures from previous posts, but I felt as though they all told the story. I tried to elimate the "fluff" photos. But that still did not allow enough space. Heartbroken alas, as this has become such a way to share and relive the struggles and heartache, the joys and triumphs I had a couple of options. One was to pay monthly for my blog or to create a new blog or to try another program. I tried the latter and it was not successful. After many attempts I decided I guess to take a break. I have had so much to say. I have typed this in my sleep. I have worded it just right. I have taken the time to even try and try again with the new program that apparently does not like me or my computer. But after much conversation I guess maybe this will be a blog without pictures? I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead.
But I do know that today's date is very symbolic. And I had to post today. One year ago today our lives changed forever. For the better. One year ago today I would not have dreamed of what a year would bring. One year ago today we were forever not just a family of three, but four and I would not have changed a moment. Well..okay so maybe I would have asked for an epidural sooner, but I would not have changed a single moment after that!
Happy Birthday Dear Baby! Happy Birthday to You! We love you! Thank you for all the joy you have brought to our lives! Thank you for putting up with our crazy! Thank you for loving us all so deeply! Thank you for being the best little brother! Thank you for being Chandler's best friend (that's what Chandler says! I promise!) Thank you little buddy! On this birthday and for so many more to come WE LOVE YOU!
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