December, December, December. It seemed like such a magical month!
I love the Christmas season for the decorations and the precious meaning behind the season. Especially having little babes you just look into their face and how heartbreaking yet powerful it was for our Father to send his Son to this hurtful place for me and my babes. It is so powerful that every Christmas season since Chandler arrived I treasure the emotion and feeling that Mary and Joesph and especially our Father must have experienced on that night so long ago.
Now especially with little ones who's eyes light up at every little decoration and with each magical day that gets closer to Christmas, suddenly you realize how magical the season really is. Chandler was all about "Christmas Magic" this year. I don't quite know where he picked it up, but I think it was from the Elf on the Shelf that we did this year. So then anytime there was a surprise or something special that happened he would inform you that it was because of the Christmas Magic. Why did baby Jesus come to the earth? Because of Christmas Magic. Why do we celebrate Jesus' birthday? Because of Christmas Magic. How did Cutie, the elf on the shelf, get from place to place? Because of Christmas Magic. It truly was a magical holiday in the eyes of Chandler. I loved it! It seemed as though the whole month was full of excitement and flew by in a whirlwind.
Chandler got to be Joesph in the Christmas play at church and I don't think that I had laughed that hard in a long while. He was absolutely adorable and precious, such a treasured memory. We celebrated the birthdays of two very special men in our family, who without them we would not be the family we are today. We did not go unscathed completely though, as the stomach bug hit our house not once but twice. Once during the weekend of the Christmas play at church, but we were not going to miss that for the world so poor babes just had to make due.
We also had an interesting situation with Cannon's helmet. It was in late November that I noticed a bump forming on the back of Cannon's head. It was bony not squishy like a goose egg although initially I thought perhaps it was just that, and it would get better. However, instead of getting better it gradually was getting larger and more prevalent. Also his coronal suture on the left side started to ridge dramatically and also became more obvious. We would especially note these issues at bath time when his hair was wetted down and as this is the only time that he is without his helmet it was obvious something was not quite right. I started to search for possible explanations. The bump in the back of his head was right at the point in the helmet where there seemed to be a flaw. There was a divet in the helmet and it seemed as though his body was filling in that divet with bone. Of course, I being the mother that I am, stressed and worried until I could no more. We tried to get in immediately to the orthotist here in town however, around this time the stomach bug number two hit our household. Finally, we were able to get in and thought the issue was resolved but it didn't take long to realize things were no better. So up to KC my mom, Cannon and I went to hopefully get some explanations. I know to many people and even to our surgeon the thought is that many people do not have perfectly shaped heads. So I really should not worry. However, in our case, after all we have been through I felt and still feel as though Cannon deserves to have the most perfectly shaped head. We have been to hell and back to ensure that our baby has a perfectly shaped head. While in KC the divet was fixed/filled with foam and over the next few days the bump shrunk completely but the ridging is perhaps just going to take time, if it ever does go away. Otherwise Cannon will have a ridge on his coronal that will just be there. As hard as this is, we learned while there that Cannon's metopic suture had closed which good or bad is a fused suture, and that he had regrown 85 percent of his bone that had been removed. I tried to remain calm and reassured that God is in control. Someone shared with me about the prayers that they still say for Cannon and the vision that had been shared with them and I had to remember that God is in control. He has been there every step of this journey and who was I to suddenly doubt his healing abilities. DEEP BREATH!
This month right prior to the release of our winter break a tragedy struck making my job all the more harder to bear. As I clung to my babies that night, as I am sure most Americans did I realized the one place that you think would be safe is unrealistically not always. I could not imagine the grief of those families nor the amount of worry that now was placed in the mind sets of parents everywhere. I still am saddened and heartbroken by the unfathomable amount of evil that could ever intertwine in what is supposed to be safe. Also this month my heartache deepened at the news of the splitting of our schools to create all the schools to be K-5. I was hurt yet once more, and yet in this month there was a fortune cookie from a date night that said "Do not worry, God looks after you especially." Seriously a fortune cookie! It was once again a message reminding me that I am indeed not the sayer and doer of my future for it is all in His hands and I need to stop for a moment. Although all of this rattled my heart once again, the healing from it all is a process and although it can be long and hard I have to walk the road of pain sometimes to see the beautiful skies to come.
Bless Cannon's heart too as we had been battling for wellness and healing he had his fifth double ear infection that would not heal. It was decided that we needed to proceed with ear tubes to hopefully help his ears. Although this happened while on break in December, just to see a specialist we had to wait a month. So for the next update!
Then there was Christmas!!! The long awaited reason for the season! My boys and I enjoyed our long break together and I had to really put all of the above mentioned stress behind so I could see just how joyous this long awaited moment was. Then what felt like a blink of an eye it was done. Cannon stood for the first time on Christmas day! Chandler was showered with so many presents that were fit for a king. And once again, since that moment that, "Magical Christmas" Day, Chandler has talked about when it comes again next year! As we were gathered singing "Happy Birthday to Jesus" I saw once again that moment. Oh how Mary must have felt. As the mother of a Savior who was born to die. Whose days were numbered from the moment he arrived. Who she felt moving while carrying him and whose birth was probably not how she pictured Him arriving. Merry Christmas dear Baby! Merry Christmas!
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